Little Life Lessons We Learnt From 'Perks Of Being A Wallflower'

Sunday, 22 April 2018


The Perks Of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, is one of my favourite books of all time. It is one of those books that you can read over and over and over again, and yet still get something new out of it every single time.

In case you didn't know, this book explores life from the point of view of Charlie, a shy high school boy with a troublesome past. The book is written in a series of letters to 'friend', and the reader never actually gets to learn who 'friend' is. Each letter guides the reader through Charlie's beautifully complex mind and offer a wide range of lessons that can apply to literally ANYONE'S life (ooh la la). So here's a few little lessons I've taken from the book, and some of the quotes that lead me to them.

Live in the moment...
'Enjoy it, because it's is happening.'
'This moment will just be another story someday.'
Do your best to appreciate EVERY SINGLE moment, especially the happy ones, because when they become memories you're going to want to remember that feeling of being there with those people. No exact moment happens more than once, so enjoy it.

Take part in life to the absolute fullest...
'Standing on the fringe of life...offers a unique perspective. But there comes a time to see what it looks like from the dance floor.'
If all you do in life is sit back and watch what is happening around you, rather than take part in it, are you really living? Take a leap of faith, get out onto the dance floor and see life from a new, adventurous, perspective.

You need to value yourself before others truly can...
'We accept the love we think we deserve.' (this is my favourite quote EVAAAAAA)
This quote doesn't really need explaining, lets be honest. You are important. And self-love isn't selfish.

Happy memories can get you through the hardest of times...
'Nobody felt sad as long as we could postpone tomorrow with more nostalgia.'
Reminiscing on happy times can bring back smiles when they are most needed (cringe, I know, but still true.) It makes the uncertainty of the future a little less frightening. In the case of Charlie and his friends, nostalgia offered some comfort when the fear of graduation seemed daunting. So take the time to be nostalgic with the people you love when a frightening change is ahead. It offers a happy sense of stability and allows you to hold onto those golden happy memories of the past. Althoooough, don't get too caught up in them - it's all about balance, so remember to keep moving forward.

It is important to recognise the different between doing anything for someone and doing everything for someone...
'I would die for you, but I won't live for you.'
Know the different. You need to live for yourself first. If you find someone that you would do anything for, and they will do the same - great. But don't make someone your entire world, because then where do you fit in? Where is your sense of self? Your life is your own, and it is okay to share it, just don't live your life for someone else.

Keep an open mind, but don't buy into everything you hear...
'Be a filter, not a sponge.'
Taking in information is a good thing, but remember to filter out the bulls**t. It is important that you're willing to learn from other people, but make sure to form your own opinions, rather than listening to what everyone else has to say and agreeing with it all the time.

Don't overthink everything...
'Sometimes people use thought to not participate in life.'
Thinking before acting is important, don't get me wrong lads. Thinking stops us from doing idiotic, stupid things that can potentially put us in danger, but it can also stop us from doing amazing, wonderful things. Don't let that little voice in your head stop you from living your life to the full.

Sometimes it is OK not to be OK...
'I am both happy and sad at the same time, and I'm trying to figure out how that could be.'
Sometimes there are things that you need to work on, and that is totally normal. Recognising this is important to finding your happy place, mentally and physically. Once in a while you just need to step back and work out what you need to work on and work out what you need to do about it.

You don't need to know everything about everything...
'It is much easier not to know things sometimes.'
In reality, sometimes ignorance really is bliss.

Life moves forward no matter what, whether you want to go with it or not...
'Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody.'
Things won't always be as easy as they are right now. Life moves on, and you might loose some of your favourite people along the way. The important ones will do their best to stay. Accepting this is frickin' hard, but don't get caught up in something or someone else's life that you start to let your OWN life pass you by.

Your past is not your future...
'But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things.'
Your past should have no control over where you're going in the future. If you want to change things, I promise you you can. You just have to realise that and keep on pushing. You'll get there one day.

Accept that life is a constant process of figuring out who you are. Be nothing but yourself, even if it takes a little while to figure out who you really are...
'I'm going to do what I want to do. I'm going to be who I really am. And I'm going to figure out what that is.'
Take the time to get to know who you really are. It might take a while, but you will get there one day. Don't let other people define who you are or who you're going to be. Only you can do that.

Bookshelves - Large Billy Bookshelves from IKEA in white
Fairy lights - Primark
Record Player - Crosley Cruiser in Turquoise from Amazon
Top - Primark

I hope you've learnt something xo

Lots of love,


  1. I haven't read this book yet but judging by the lessons you've picked up from this book, it looks like a fab read! All of the lessons, I was like 'omg yes yes yes!' Thanks for sharing girl! Definitely going to pick up this book!


    1. It is such a good read, the film is also amazingggg - thank you for the lovely comment :)

  2. Lovely post xo Such an incredible book and filllm :))

  3. Happy memories certainly can help you through hard times! Great piece.

  4. Oh I love writing life lessons I learn from books! I usually do the on self help books though! I have never read this book, though I have heard a lot about it! Maybe I need to add this one to my reading list! xx

    1. Definitely add it to your reading list Zoe, it's so incredible and I looove a good self help book!

  5. Aww! I read this book and even watched the movie! I love both of them! Haven't watched this in a while tho, might watch it tonight ahahha :D

    Lovely post xx
    Kat x

    1. I love both of them too - haven't watched the film in a while either, might get to it tonight :)
      Thank you for the lovely comment xo

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